my walls

my walls are built high.

i'm scared,
i'm scared i'm going to get hurt.

am i?

but here's the thing,

you break my walls down 
you open me up 

and not by words 

just by looking into my eyes

i'm safe.
i'm harm.
i'm peaceful. 

and if i'm not strong in some spots, 
you build me up,
you make me stronger. 

and i love that.
i do.

i love being open with you.
i love making jokes that only we get.
i love when you know that i'm not feeling good.
i love that one look at me and i have an never-ending happiness.
i love that you push me to be better.   

i love you.

thats so scary 

ALL THE WALLS I BUILT GONE. 
EVERY TIME YOU LOOK AT ME THEY SHATTER.
AH I'M IN HIGH SCHOOL I CAN'T BE "in love"

so why does my happiness depend on seeing you?  

i hate this,
cause it's all one-sided. 
so every time you look at me, i'm working so hard to build my walls up, while you're breaking them down with a simple look.

i feel like i'm stacking papers one-by-one on a windy day, 
getting nowhere, but i keep stacking hoping that one day the wind will stop. 

but you're fine with just playing with me.
you don't get it.
you don't understand how deep i'm in over my head.

so i'll stop.
i'm done being hurt.
time to move on.
i'm letting go.

you are truly the greatest friend, just nothing more.