dealing with my losses

sometime i feel like i have 1 win to 10 losses,

and it's not like losses just brush off easy.
they hurt.
they show you, your weaknesses.

even scarier, losses show others your weaknesses.
your fears.
your pain.

but honestly, i'm done being scared of showing my emotions.

i'm normally a happy person,
but that does not mean i don't have bad days.

so why do people expect me to put on my "happy mask" right after a loss,
a loss that hurt me.
a loss that shaped me.

you can only bottle stuff up for so long before you explode.

thats not healthy.

so forgive me for having a bad day,
or i'm not smiling 24-7,

but i'm just trying to turn this loss into a win.